i keep seeing people saying “you don’t mess with 4chan” and i’m like… really?
i mean, yeah, it’s like poking a wasp nest except the wasps smell like diapers and instead of stinging you they pee. but i was googling a bit about this supposed ‘attack’ on tumblr, and mainly what i saw was flinchy kids on tumblr getting worried, self-important kids on tumblr trying to white-knight the flinchy kids, and then idk like the daily dot documenting the whole failstorm as if it was some kind of big event.
and all throughout this people kept quoting “you don’t mess with 4chan” like it was common knowlege.
now there’s this thing about some dingus (or dinguses) getting all worked because they can’t figure out how to make the homestucks feel bad feelings. because like. duh. homestuck.
the inevitable result of these thoughts occupying my head at the same time:
well, homestucks could.
mess with 4chan, i mean.
i don’t mean let’s organize a raid or something, that’s dumb, it’d be just as dumb for anyone else to do it as it is for /b/ kiddies to do it. stirring shit for shit-stirring’s sake is a boring thing only boring people do. i just mean homestucks talking like homestucks, about homestuck things, with no malicious intent whatsoever, would probably give the “me so dangerous internet villain” types a stroke. because wow, they honestly seem shocked and disturbed by some of the stuff that’s just routine in the fandom. like tentacle peen. and eye blood.
this has probably already been happening for months, now that i think about it. 4chan is the elemental plane of chaos and everything is there already.
Helpful tips for attacking the Homestucks!
I understand some of the 4chan people are having a hard time coming up with ways that they could harass homestuck people. Here’s a few things you may not have thought of:
- Try doing “pairings” in which the characters are just really good friends and it never turns sexual.
- Or pairings in which they hate each other, but it does turn sexual.
- You could criticize the art. Try pointing out that the art for homestuck looks like it was drawn in MS Paint.
- Try making same-sex pairings.
- Write stories where a lot of the characters die.
- Write stories where a lot of the characters die repeatedly.
- Write stories which overtly refer to the fourth wall by name as though the characters are aware of it.
- Do a plot which is basically “rocks fall, everyone dies”.
- Make the whole thing out to be some sort of video game.
- Tell everyone that the comic’s going to stop on a sort of cliffhanger and then not update for a really long time.
- Write stories where character dialogue is full of typos to make it harder to read.
Once you’ve done all of these things, congratulations! You’ve now trolled the Homestucks in many of the more obvious ways that Andrew Hussie has. Now see if you can come up with something he hasn’t done to them yet. Good luck!
some of the other players in my d&d group are also homestucks
my rogue got hit by a ‘stinking cloud’ and of course the rogue fortitude save is garbage so basically i could do nothing but puke forever
so i told the sorcerer DO THE WINDY THING DO THE WINDY THING
and he popped a ‘wind wall’ and came over with his ‘winds of vengeance’ tornado and cleared out the cloud
the gm was kinda headtilting but WE knew what we meant
I just wanted to draw Eridan knitting, alone, with his grumpy dumbface.
aww babbu you dropped all your stitches no wonder you’re grumpy
If you even knew his name, you would understand terror no human ever has.
Caliborn isn’t a very scary name. Neither is Lord English, honestly. I don’t think those are the names we’re meant to be nervous about, though.
This, on the other hand….
Let’s talk about computer programming for a second. Don’t panic if you don’t know anything about the subject, though, because for our purposes it’s best to keep things incredibly vague.
A “destructor" is invoked at the end of an object’s lifetime. (This might already be beginning to sound a bit familiar.)
It is an extremely simple ~ATH program. Its main loop is tied to the lifespan of the universe. When the universe dies, a mysterious subprogram will be executed.
Lord English can only enter a universe upon its death.
The destructor’s main job is to free up the resources the object was using, now that its lifetime is ended.
When executed, the subprogram will summon an indestructible demon into the recently voided universe. This monstrous being with the power to travel through time is inconvenienced very little by his arrival upon THE GREAT UNDOING. He has the entire cadaver of the expired universe to pick apart at his whim. From its birth through its swelling maturity and tapering decay. In a reality he is known to have marked for predation, he will go about assembling followers through various epochs, even going as far as personally establishing the parameters for his future summoning.
In C++, a tilde placed in front of the name of a class is the name of its destructor. 'U' is the name used in ~ATH programs for universes.
[T]he danger he poses is sanctioned by paradox space.
It is a known quantity. His very existence in a universe will mean it will inevitably be torn apart.
But there are rules to his entry, and his grim procession through paradox space is rather orderly. The present equilibrium has accounted for him, and will continue to.
uu: I THINK PART OF MY PERSONAL QUEST. IS TO BECOME AT EASE WITH THE FORCES OF INEVITABILITY.
uu: INEVITABILITY THAT ALL THINGS SHOULD AND WILL FALL IN MY FAVOR. THAT ALL CAUSALITY ANSWERS TO ME. AND THAT ALL OUTCOMES NOT ONLY SERVE ME. BUT CONSIST OF MY BEING.
~U: Universe Destructor. That’s what Caliborn’s purpose is. That’s what Caliborn is.
(Bringing about the deaths of countless universes isn’t actually what makes him evil, though.
UU: all Universes die at some point. some sooner than others. it is all part of the cycle, and sometimes things like this mUst happen for reasons beyond oUr Understanding.
Caliborn is just an asshole.)
i do not like this update
testing for commission
oh my god are you serious
i don’t think i can handle a homestuck/snk crossover the ‘everyone you love dies’ quotient is just too high
also oh no they’re hot
hussie are you fucking serious
more like cutie karkat :3